un·man·age·a·ble
adj
Difficult or impossible to manage or control
In early recovery I could not see how unmanageable my life was because I did not have any idea what a manageable life looked like. Thinking back this is how unrooted I was....
1. I moved 10 times from the age of 14 - 23
2. I was always running late
3. I never paid my bills on time if at all
4. My car was always almost on E
5. I had to have the music on full blast when driving in my car
6. I would buy new clothes instead of doing laundry
7. I always had excuses for the chaos in my life
I am sure there was more that could be added but it has been many 24s since those days. The most detrimental for me was the moving. I never had a feeling of being settled. This continued into the first half of my recovery, moving 8 more times until my current home. I can happily say I have lived her for 10 years now and finally feel like I am growing those roots.
According to healthstatus.com moving is in the top 5 most stressful situations we experience along with death of a loved one, divorce, major illness, and job loss. Not having a permanent address really payed a toll on me.
Many times in early recovery we have no control over our circumstances until we gain some stability. Working on the first chakra and grounding practices such as yoga, meditation, and working the first three steps in recovery will help bring stability and strength while creating a more manageable situation.
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